My aunt has nicknamed Rotorua “Rottenrua”, and with good reason. It *pongs*. Baaaadly.

It’s a town in the middle of the North Island in an area where there’s a lot of geothermal activity. You can be driving down the road and suddenly you’ll see a vertical plume of steam shoot up from in between the pavement here and there.

Then over to one side you’ll see steam wafting about above quite large areas of parkland, like some early morning mist but at all times of the day and night.

In places, the water or mud in these pools and crevices reaches over 100 degrees Celsius.

The trees round about are often covered in yellow sulphur and withering away.

What amazes me is how so much greenery still survives so nearby these mud pools spewing noxious fumes all the time. And a lot of birds seem to find a habitat nearby, able to nest all year round thanks to the warmth created by it all.

“Champagne Lake”, which permanently bubbles. Fancy a drink??? 👇🏼😉🤢

Green caused by algae encouraged by the warmth:

“Artist’s Palette”, which I thought was the most beautiful geothermal lake we saw:

If this was a chemistry experiment, you’d expect it to be allowed to happen only in a fume cupboard. After a couple of hours of exploring these weird and wonderful sights, I felt like I could almost taste the acid in my mouth and feel it in my stomach.

Thanks, Rotorua. Your extraordinary muds and minerals may be great for our skin, but I won’t miss your smell!

Just as the weather defies description, the landscape here does too. As we’ve begun our drive south from Auckland to Wellington on the south coast of the North Island, we’ve seen occasional flat fields, interspersed with a lot of…well, I’m going to call them lumpy green hills, often with sheep or cows dotted about on them. And then blue mountains in the distance with snow on the top.

The hills are lumpy because they’re mostly small hillocks formed by volcanic activity over thousands of years. It’s a bit like a weird imaginary other planetary landscape with a lot of lush grass on it. Think of the Shire in The Lord of the Rings and you’ll not be far wrong.

Sheep farming remains a big industry here, though it’s significantly reduced recently in favour of dairy farming. So we saw a lot of both sheep and cows as we travelled. Just to prove how unpredictable the weather is, quite often half the cows would be standing up, half lying down. Even the livestock’s confused!

Occasionally, the road goes over steep sided deep ravines, passes some hills and then suddenly a huge river will appear flowing fast. In places there’s a vast floodplain to contain these rivers after heavy rains, reminding me a bit of the creeks in California, but on an even grander scale.

The only thing about the landscape that is predictable everywhere is the lush green grass and forest throughout. Beautiful.

We spent a couple of days just relaxing at my aunt and uncle’s place in a suburb of Auckland, which gave me time to catch up with myself and feel like I’d arrived in this new place.

My first impressions of New Zealand were mainly regarding the weather (well I am British after all!), birdsong and trees.

I now realise why friends who had visited NZ were a bit quiet regarding the weather here when I asked about it. It’s not that it’s bad. It just defies description. Within an hour you experience brisk, blustery wind, then squalls of rain that might last for 10 minutes, then the sun will come out and make it look and feel like a glorious summer’s day, replete with blue sky and fluffy clouds.

In England, when the weather becomes overcast as it does here, you have this looming sense of doom that the day will be irredeemably grim. Here, you have exactly the same sort of weather, but you can pretty much guarantee that it will all have cleared away within about half an hour (though it reserves the right to cloud over again before too long). Perhaps this contributes to the kiwis’ optimistic disposition?

So now it’s supposedly spring here, and we’ve seen some lovely blossom trees out and plenty of lambs to prove it. But we have also experienced a lot of rain, a nip in the air, and while travelling south even some snow! (I have to keep reminding myself that travelling south takes us closer to Antarctica, which is really not that far away, relatively.) Oh, and when the sun has come out (which it has done often) it’s incredibly glaringly bright here, apparently due to the lack of ozone layer. You see what I mean? Defies description.

The trees I’ve already spoken about a bit. Tree ferns make lovely star shapes among the pines and other trees that cover hillsides here and there all over NZ. As we’ve begun driving south, we’ve seen lots of plantations of pine trees and logging trucks. Wood is a major industry here. The pines are not native, and are fast growing, so they’re easy come, easy go, I guess.

The birdsong. Well, the tuis (“tooees”), which are quite common throughout, sound like something from a sci fi movie or fantasy paradise land. Their song has a massive pitch range and sound like a more melodious type of R2D2. They also look like they’re from paradise, with dark blue black iridescent feathers and a curious pom pom of white feathers by their throat. Other NZ birds I’ve seen include fan tails and an NZ kingfisher, who likes to sit on my aunt and uncle’s garden fence while occasionally diving down to fetch grubs from the compost area below. And we keep hearing a very distinctive twittering birdsong that none of us have been able to identify yet. If I’m ever quick enough I’ll get a photo or some video of any of these wonderful creatures to post up. Blackbirds are also in evidence here, and magpies (with more white on them than black here) and hawks gliding over the roads and fields. And several types of gull too. (I won’t tell you what my uncle calls them. He’s not a fan! 😆)

Relaxation is a central value of most kiwis. Here are my aunt and uncle demonstrating how to do it. Cheers!

Our first explorations of Auckland began with this deliciousness. Homemade blueberry pancakes with grilled banana drizzled with maple syrup. I can confirm that my aunt is a genius in the kitchen!

After that we had a short drive and walk to Devonport ferry terminal to catch the boat across to Auckland CBD. “CBD” (central business district) is a common phrase people use for city centres here. (In the UK I’ve only ever heard this in geography lessons!)

Walking to the ferry terminal we saw these weird trees. The stuff hanging off the branches that looks like ready made broomsticks is actually part of the root system of the tree. It grows so long it eventually reaches the ground and plants itself again. This tree has been given a haircut so it’s easier to walk under it.

The view across to Auckland CBD before our incredibly fast ferry ride.

Next up was the famous Sky Tower (the tallest building above). A chance to get awesome 360 degree views of the city and all the surrounding seas (I hadn’t fully appreciated how narrow and surrounded by sea Auckland is. In a couple of points it’s only attached to the mainland by a strip of land barely wider than the road!).

Standing at the base of the Sky Tower I looked up and, well, you tell me, is this wobbling or what??

I have to say it was pretty scary up there. The views can’t convey it really but here are some anyway:

(Thanks cousin Stuart for this one which is way better quality than mine! 👆🏼)

I have to say, 38mm does not seem thick enough to be safe at this height!!

We went to Auckland on a Friday, so we saw a lot of young people on the way who were demonstrating for climate action. The whole climate change conversation has been significant so far everywhere I’ve gone. Whatever your opinion is, I have to salute Greta Thunberg, who has our attention and has got loads more of us talking and thinking. About which more later, but for now, some pics…

Having had a quick look around Auckland, we retreated back to the relative quietness of Devonport for perfectly formed afternoon coffees. (When in New Zealand…)

My cousin Stuart ordered an iced coffee and was rewarded with this splendid affogato. Not bad eh? 😋

A Maori welcome in Auckland airport:

I have heard so much about the famous Kiwi hospitality. Apparently the Maori language has loads of words offering welcome of one sort of another. You would’ve thought that this would have boded very well for me, but…

I had a little hiccup with the notoriously strict New Zealand biosecurity in the airport.

This is an island a loooong way away from a lot of other places, and, understandably, the Kiwis have no desire for their beautiful native plants and animals to be threatened by non native species or diseases from non native species of plant or animal. I did know this. And I did read the security card thing. But to be fair it was very early in the morning when I started filling it out on the plane…

In my defence, I think it’s something of a miracle I managed to get my act together enough to travel anywhere without serious injury (especially given my recent encounter with a window). So, all in all, I totally forgot that I had packaged up little packets saying “A tiny taste of England” as gifts to give to all my hosts in various places, and that each one included a little pot of Sheffield honey, which turns out to be a serious biohazard here. So I didn’t declare these, in spite of a gazillion warnings that the minimum fine for undeclared stuff was NZ$400 😳 They have turned out to be the most expensive pots of honey known to humankind! I had to unpackage them all and hand over the honey. (My uncle reckons the security staff probably enjoyed spreading it on their mid morning toast!)

To be fair, the security staff were about as laid back and nice about this as you probably can be, when confronted with such a doofus. I wouldn’t say they were apologetic, but they nodded with sympathy as I described how I just didn’t think, and regretfully informed me it would be an expensive mistake.

Eventually I emerged from my tribulations, to be greeted by a merry little crowd of my fabulous kiwi relatives, who’d all come to greet me. I couldn’t be upset for long in such company.

But, as I joked to my rellies, there is a part of me that wants to say “Hospitality?? You people call this hospitality??? It seems like it’s all take take take to me! I mean, so far you’ve taken a day off me (what happened to the 25th September?? I’ll never get that day back), you’ve taken my lovingly assembled pots of honey, you’ve taken $NZ400 and now, I am reliably informed, you’re going to take another hour when the clocks go forward tomorrow?!!!!”

Thing is, I ranted like this in the car on the way home from the airport, and everyone fell about laughing. Now that’s what I call hospitality! (I’ve travelled a long way to find people who’ll laugh at my jokes!!😂)

Here are my lovely kiwi relatives, who took me for a walk to blow away the cobwebs and fed me NZ Hokey Pokey ice cream (don’t mind if I do), and have generally made me feel totally at home already:

So, this happened 24th September evening…

I’m pleased to report that despite somehow losing a day, I seem to be remarkably un-jet lagged still. I slept on the plane more than I thought I would be able to, and arrived in New Zealand in time for a new morning. I definitely recommend traveling anti clockwise round the world if you ever get the chance to do this sort of trip.

In the UK, all the maps put the UK in the centre. It’s good to see the bits that normally fall off each side in the centre for a change here! I travelled off one side and lo and behold appeared on the other side. Or I just went across the middle of this one.