What our souls seek

I am just beginning to properly explore the writings of Julian of Norwich. This really struck me between the eyeballs this morning!

It is the grace of God’s goodness that our souls seek and always will, until we come to know God directly and realise he already has us enfolded in himself.

Julian of Norwich as translated by Mirabel Starr (https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=t2qmDwAAQBAJ&source=gbs_book_other_versions), p.16 [NB forgive the use of male pronouns for God who must surely be beyond gender. Julian was writing in the 14th Century. Actually she was the first woman in England whose writings were ever published.]

My reading has been interrupted this morning, as you can see, but the interruption is inviting me to stay with this quote and drink it in. (Credit to my friends’ cat Peach for knowing just when Aunty Ali needs to stay with something profound!) 🙏❤️😌

A little laugh…

A friend just shared this with me. Auf Deutsch! In England we have a game where you go as long as possible in December without hearing the song “Last Christmas” (by Wham!). You’re out of the game as soon as you hear it. It became popular because every year the song is played A LOT in shops and on the radio and ever-earlier in the lead up to Christmas. But my friends’ daughter reliably informed me the other day that it doesn’t count if the version you hear is a cover version. In which case everyone can enjoy this little German adventure…!

https://youtube.com/shorts/62-ibq8BmQM?si=GpdXJI12_JYF9l6t

Shhh… a glimpse into silence

Here are a couple of videos capturing a little of the silence on my recent retreat. I watch them and re-enter that holy ground.

https://youtu.be/HZ47ekL1A3M?si=ztUyzSra7bM9t-dI

https://youtu.be/Mcacqw1gr0U?si=8tsq23CE1QbzESA_

Silence is such a gentle thing. No one is dominating in the silence – this was one of the many insights from my favourite film In Pursuit of Silence by Patrick Shen:

https://youtu.be/BPT1R9HgjAI?si=BF5mQsVBmRL8r88h

When silence is mutually arranged and held, it becomes much more hospitable than your average space, particularly to anyone from a persecuted group or a group who are not often given “air time” to speak, ironically…

…Much food for thought…

Shhh 🤫

I am about to go on a retreat which will be almost entirely silent, just for a few days. I am feeling mostly excited, though I do detect a hint of wariness! But really I am longing for this silence at some fundamental level.

Trefoil with book

It strikes me that choosing to be silent might be one of the most powerful choices we could make in a world with so much multi-channel communication going on constantly? And that this is very different from feeling silenced or indeed from actually being silenced.

There is something in this about offering my attention just to God and to the natural world and also to my own self more deeply than I normally manage to do. And also something about receiving the loving attention of God and fellow creatures in the natural world, too. 🙏

10 years! 🥳

Trigger Warning: cancer

This month marks the tenth year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am cured, thankfully, and recently officially received confirmation of that from my annual scans. But I am loath to mention my celebrations, as I have so many friends whose lives have been blighted by the long shadow this horrendous disease can cast.

Only the other day I heard that another friend’s life had come to an end, after years of cancer treatment. On the bus on the way home yesterday, when I mentioned my celebrations, another friend reminded me that our mutual friend died from cancer not long after my diagnosis, 9 years ago. Also yesterday I spoke with another friend who is in the middle of her annual cycle of griefs – it’s 3 years since her husband died (far too young) from cancer. And I noticed again the Facebook profile of a friend I made in hospital who was exactly the same age as me, but who sadly died aged 39, less than a year after we met, in the midst of her treatment.

In memory of all these remarkable people and also in encouragement of all of my friends who have gone through treatment and survived like me, I do want to write of my gratitude.

Last night my housemates cooked up a storm to help me celebrate. It was good to remember and also to celebrate. A lot has happened in those ten years for which I am so grateful.

This morning as we prayed we read this quote from Evelyn Underhill:

When we are in good health, we all feel very real, solid, and permanent; and this is of all our illusions the most ridiculous.

May I never take the gift of life for granted.

At the menagerie…

I recently had the opportunity to cat, kitten and chicken-sit in my friends’ house while they were on holiday.

In the midst of a lot of serious things happening in the world, enter, Mango the kitten. His behaviour with his ball reminds me strongly of what I must look like to an observer when I am feeling anxious and have lost my keys, my wallet, my phone… 🙄

For Mango it’s a game (and a training ground…). Hmmm it might be good to remember that when I next misplace my keys, wallet, phone…

It’s high time 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

I have signed this. And encourage anyone who is a member of the Church of England in any sense to consider it. I realise we are not all on the same page. I value my friends whatever page they are on with this. But this is really important to me and reaches to the heart of the good news I believe Jesus brings us all. I long for all those who are LGBTQ+ to know they are totally loved exactly as they are. And so may healing and peace come…

LLF Open Letter

A prayer for when there are no words…

There are some words here actually. But not many.

There is so much going on currently in the world, and in the Church of England of which I am a part (albeit at arm’s length). Much of it is downright awful. Some of it is deeply hopeful.

I realise many Big Things have happened that I haven’t yet had a chance to write about here. And they continue to stack up. My heart is full of all sorts of things.

For now let me share this prayer. I share so you can sing along. However untuneful or tuneful you might think your voice is, I dare you to find a space and sing this quietly or loudly where you are, if it resonates with your heart. Sing alone hidden in a quiet room or outside in a garden, or on a hilltop or a beach, an edge place. Sing into the wind and let it whip your words into action, or into the quiet beauty of a still day.

Someone recently told me when they get YouTube links like this they just listen but had never thought of joining in before. Do join in if you are able to. So we voice the prayers of many who have no voice or no opportunity to use it, or who don’t have access to this way of praying and singing yet.

Bring hope, bring joy, bring healing, bring strength…

https://youtu.be/tVgojsnHSH4?si=_16Yu49IEhLslKCv

Follow me

One of the many interesting conversations I had yesterday on the counter far right protest (see previous post) was with a friend who recounted how our local theologian and Methodist Minister John Vincent used to say (I paraphrase), « Jesus’ command ‘Follow me’ was not primarily a command to our heads or our hearts but to our feet ».

John always did have a way with words.

Asylum seekers and refugees welcome here

Awful that we had to do it, but it was so heartening today to be with good good people, making sure that asylum seekers and refugees in our beautiful City of Sanctuary (Sheffield) know they are welcome. The police were very well organised and in the end there were very few far right protesters there. By contrast, there were I guess 300ish of us counter protesting. The issues are complex and this isn’t a binary situation, but at the end of the day, if you are seeking asylum we want Sheffield to be a genuine sanctuary for you.