In pursuit of silence

This is the title of my all time favourite documentary film, which I saw the first time it screened in the UK in 2016 in between my daily radiotherapy appointments for cancer treatment. The film blew my mind. And resonated in such a gentle, inspiring and positive way. It drew my attention with its beauty (it is wonderfully shot), and the quiet joy of its soundtrack. It is an exercise in contemplation just watching it. An act of rebellion against the drivenness and thoughtless, damaging noise of our time.

I watched it at the Sheffield Doc Fest, the international film festival for documentary makers, and the q&a following with Patrick Shen the film maker was also an inspiration. I knew about Sheffield Doc Fest but had rarely managed to prioritise going to see many films. Watching this during my cancer journey helped me to begin to re-evaluate a lot of things.

For one thing, if a film could inspire me and resonate with me so much that it held the potential to alter my way of being, I resolved never to let work or life stop me from drinking in the films that arrive each year in the very city I live in. Sheffield Doc Fest has become a place I prioritise being at.

https://sheffdocfest.com/news/2024-dates-announced-passes-sale-now

And for another, as I have watched this film time after time, it reminds me to continue my odyssey of seeking silence on my own and with others. I took the DVD with me on my trip around the world in 2019, which inspired me to begin writing this blog (it started as my travel blog), and I watched it with many of the people who hosted me. It provoked some incredible conversations between us. Real pearls.

Silence is something I run towards with a glad heart the more I practise it. I visited my parents recently, and at one point Mum came back having been out, and entered the room where I was simply being silent. She commented with questioning wonder on how silent the whole house was. I think she instinctively recognised that something important and deep, something I would describe as “holy” or “sacred”, even, was going on.

I have come to love the film so much I decided recently to see what Patrick Shen was up to, and found his Patreon. I read a bit of it and instantly knew this would help me stay my course. It seems the making of the film has also inspired a change of direction for him, too. I really admire the different creative approach he is taking as a result. To see, hear and read more click below:

https://www.patreon.com/patrickshen?utm_campaign=creatorshare_fan

I really hope and pray that these different ways of being we are finding across the world help us to evolve a more gentle way with ourselves, with each other and with our planet. A way that is content with enough, a way that embodies the kindness and quiet joy of silence. A way that deepens our connection with the natural world all around us. This is the way of healing, I think.

This made me think again…

I loved listening to this story just now. 4.5 very thought provoking minutes. I will carry these questions with me…

How will the story end?
What is ours to do in this time?
What is there to lose?
Who do you (and I) choose to be?
What will we sacrifice in order to build a different future?

The day is just rising…

I was in the queue behind a guy this morning who was on the phone while completing his transaction. “You’re too emotional… women, they’re always too emotional,” he declared into the phone, while demanding she put their child on the phone (I grimaced, imagining the irritation of this woman, who I guessed was probably doing the bulk of the bringing up of the child [also, how is it possible to be “too emotional”? Grrr…]). “Woman; the day is just rising…give thanks and be glad you opened your eyes this morning to greet it!” I exchanged knowing grins with the Muslim guy behind the till and said, “He’s preaching to us all this morning”.

I was just sitting on a low wall writing this when another guy began talking to me. People round here have an instinct for who has got time to listen. We said how much we were enjoying the sun. He said he didn’t like the cold so he was glad for the sun. I pointed to the trees and said how the blossoms were coming. He said, “Yeah this is our world… we gotta look after it isn’t it?” His words were very slurred and in a strong dialect so he had to repeat that three times before I could grasp it. I wasn’t expecting such care for the natural world from someone so vulnerable. But he probably spends way more time outside than I do. I stand corrected.

This is Easter where I live. Three completely different cultural backgrounds, at least two different faiths, shared human needs and flaws and an encouragement to notice that the day is just rising. We give thanks we opened our eyes to see it. And we resolve to look after this beautiful planet with all her creatures. 🙏💕

One minute

One minute to be still and breathe. A good minute: https://youtu.be/8pPr8HPwJYA

I’m using this YouTube channel to share moments of contemplation like this. If you enjoy them, do like, share, subscribe to the channel so they make their way to more people who just need a moment to be still and to open their eyes and ears to what is a gift around them. 🎁

You, now, are light

A chant, with a random quiet hum at the start which I didn’t realise it would record! I wonder whether this link will work…?:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/yf6otpf5yqf7g8d/YouNowAreLightEph5.8.loopyrecording.aiff?dl=0

The thing that strikes me about this short text this morning (it’s from Ephesians 5.8 in the Bible), is the confidence of it, and that it’s stated as fact; “You once were darkness but now you are light”. I’m also struck by how it’s talking about modes of being. It doesn’t say, “You once walked in darkness”, or “You once were like darkness”, or “You once were blinded by darkness”. It says “You once were darkness”. That’s a pretty powerful statement. And equally powerful is the strong assertion “but now you are light”.

Still

There are some things that give time back to me

And others that steal it away,

Like a thief in the night.

My friend’s hospital appointments with all the -ologists,

Stealing the life they are so carefully trying to save.

My latest contract for work that I don’t really believe in,

Which I’m doing to put bread on the table.

I have the impression that these things are robbing us of life?

I strike a match

The candle is lit

We let the silence fall.

Disturbed waters still.

I hear a bird sing in the distance,

Breathe in the delicate aroma of my tea,

Hands warmed by the mug.

My shoulders drop, burden loosening;

Nous sommes arrivés

We have arrived;

Brought back to ourselves

Here there is life, healing, peace.

Here, the present that was always ours to live is ours once again.